Abstract Details

Hindsight is 20/20 and self-knowledge is power.  Bonnie C. Ihme (Honor, MI )   P1

I am an artist, an empath, visionary, writer, advocate, speaker and an autodidact. I began teaching myself to write and read at the age of three and drawing detailed architectural plans at eight. I never fit the education system and it made me a target for assumptions towards my ability and potential when limits were in place for any teacher to have been able to truly understand the difference a deficient education system and a student with spatial sequence synesthesia and ideasthesia. But how could they when information about synesthesia was suppressed nearly one hundred years ago. I had an acutely keen sense of social environmental cues and could verbalize my thoughts and feeling clearly at a very early age yet felt knocked over and dragged through an outdated and deficient education system that considers any child outside it's stringent parameters as being deficient. Being diagnosed ADHD after 40 years didn't clearly describe what I've experienced throughout my life. I immersed myself into the history of behavioral psychology and human evolution. So many of those before me who've wandered their own path less traveled, had hidden gifts that bridge the gap between conscious and unconscious states of awareness unknown to many who've been able to follow social construction. Throughout school I'd prayed for wisdom, knowledge and an advocate to save me from the psychic abuse I endured. I found I have the rarest Myers Briggs type of INFJ called 'The Advocate' after my ADHD diagnosis. I'm finding many with rare types of the Myers Briggs are being found as having more neural connectivity between the right and left hemisphere of the brain for higher order thinking skills that through neuroplasticity allows for transpersonal awareness in meditative states spoken about by masters throughout history. They have the passionate potential to become catalysts for social changes through transformational leadership skills because of the adversities faced from life experience. I'm a Pisces which is the last star sign on ancient cylindrical calendars which closely resembles the one I've always seen within my minds eye. Imagine having an evolutionary mind with two opposing forces contradicting thought patterns while trying to integrating an understanding as to who they are and how they fit into the grand scheme all the while being told they don't fit and aren't trying hard enough to. Through adverse childhood experience and cognitive load I was able to access past present as well as future information I couldn't prove was anything other than having hallucinations and grandiose dreams and told to suppress such delusional thoughts. Everything I knew, sensed, believed and understood about the world was being denied along with my own personal relevance. My question is this, if self-mastery takes a broader measure of personality dispositions found in the big five personality traits along with many of the underachieving children with visual spatial intelligence, placed within our western education systems 'special' class, why are these the children we're holding back?